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Ever try it? Nah, not me—curious, tho. Slow down, Larry, don’t judge yet. X posts say it’s everywhere—guys braggin’, girls postin’ pics. Links to sites, shady as hell—clicked one, got a virus, pissed me off! Little story—buddy o’ mine, dumbass, met one in Vegas. Said she sang Sinatra while—well, ya know. “Strangers in the night,” he’s moanin’—hilarious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—funny as shit.

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So, I finally get to the fields, and it’s a sight! Green as far as the eye can see. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts actin’ up. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s possessed or somethin’. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and I can hear the kids from the nearby school shoutin’ and laughin’. They’re probably thinkin’ I’m some kinda clown.

Kirkby in Ashfield dad's wonderful gesture after son died from rare cancer aged 28