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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Lancing, you’ve got me all kinds of twisted. Woke up this mornin’ with the sun blarin’ through my window. Thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Air ambulance charity holds festive carol service at 19th century chapel