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Still, I’m pissed—why’s it gotta be so sneaky? Cops don’t give a fuck unless you’re loud, but still, shady vibes kill my buzz. Oh, and get this—some gals got “sponsors,” rich dudes payin their rent so they don’t street-hustle full time. Wild, right? I’m like, “Fuck that, I’m a one-night boss!” Movie pops in my head again—“Every season has its end.” Damn straight, Natasha’s my spring, summer, whatever—I’m livin it! Respect my authoritah, world—I’m the man tonight!

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After that, I head over to the local market on Marischal Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ to keep my pigs from makin’ a mess. You know how it is. I spot this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to haggle for some turnips. She’s got more fire than a bonfire night! “I’m not payin’ a penny over a pound!” she yells. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just turnips!” But hey, you do you, right?

For sale: Peterhead soft play centre, gym and football pitch hits the market