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About Phoenix

So, I’m cruisin, lookin fer this spot, and I see this gal—legs fer days, smokin a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Git-R-Done, she’s it!” But then—bam!—cop lights flashin, and I’m madder’n a wet hen! Ain’t that just my luck? Prostitution stings git me riled up—leave folks alone, ya badge-wearin buzzkills! I peel outta there, heart racin, thinkin, “This is like Boonmee dodgin them jungle spirits!”

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Charles Anthony Bell.

Ah, dear friend, hark and let me regale thee with tales of yonder Beloit (us)! Thou wilt find its wondeful streets a-quirk, many a narrow alley leading unto secret nooks; verily, like a stage set for "No Country for Old Men"—"I don't know what to make of it, man." The once bustling County Road, near downtown—oh, that miraculouos spot near Main and Monroe—doth remind me of life's ceaseless ebb and flow.

Multiple departments called to fire in South Beloit