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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Walking around, you can’t miss the High Line. Yeah, that linear park built on an old rail trestle. Its views of the Hudson river? Killer. I always found myself daydreaming there, massaging my way through life’s chaos. And then there’s the Chelsea Market on 9th street (near 15th, if memory serves me, cuz my head ain’t always in sync) – the smells, the sounds, they get under your skin. Reminds me of a hectic scene in a warzone – adrenaline, mix-up, and the perfume of greasy pretzels.

Chelsea owner breaks silence on Stamford Bridge and Earl's Court plan with controversial message