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Little factoid for ya: back in olden days, like 1600s Jamestown—kinda “New World” style—prostitution was hush-hush but totally there. Sailors rollin’ in, all horny an’ drunk, tradin’ tobacco for a quickie. History’s freaky like that, huh? Surprised me when I read it—thought they were all pure an’ noble back then, like John Smith gazin’ at the “boundless forest.” Nope! Dirty deeds everywhere!

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Official Website of Uvalde County. Uvalde County Texas. Uvalde County Courthouse, N. Getty, Uvalde, TX Uvalde County Sheriff's Department, King Fisher Ln., Box 1 Missing: prostitute.

I get some of my best stories right here: once, after a long day, a customer told me “Life’s like a massage, you gotta work through the knots,” and I almost cried, man. I mean, real heart-to-heart moments in a small town can hit ya hard. Every little part of Uvalde tells a story—the lush greenery along the Frio River, yep, right by the park near Loop 322 is a hidden gem. Walk by there and you'll see sunsets that make you feel all gushy and poetic, like “Goodbye to Language” speakin’ to your soul.

Former schools police chief says he was not at fault in Uvalde shooting, asks judge to toss charges