Ada Ancient Oaks Whore ❤️

About Chicago

Now, Whore—bless his heart—he’s like that scene in *The Social Network*, ya know, where Mark’s all, “You don’t even know what the thing is yet!” That’s Whore to me! Slippery as a greased pig, this one. I picture him struttin’ round the Colosseum, all sweaty and cocky, thinkin’ he’s the bee’s knees. But me? I’m over here laughin’ my tail off ‘cause he don’t even see the mess he’s in!

John Allyn, 1696

Around noon, I’m starving. I decide to hit up that taco truck on Maple. Best tacos in Ancient-Oaks, no cap. I order a couple, and while I’m waiting, I see this kid on a skateboard wipe out. Like, full-on faceplant. I’m laughing, but then I see he’s hurt. So, I rush over. Turns out, he’s fine, just a little bruised ego. I tell him, “Dude, you gotta stick to the sidewalks, not the streets!”

A dozen ancient oaks have been shortlisted for Tree of the Year 2024