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What surprised me? How many dudes use this—like, bankers, lawyers, even my dumb cousin Kyle prob’ly! I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout him payin’ for it, that Jew bastard. But real talk, it’s handy—pick a girl, meet up, done. No bullshit datin’ apps. Tho, one time, cop almost caught me—heart poundin’, “The sea is calm!”—and I ran like a fat ninja. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares!

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Ohhh, and don't even get me started on the Little Heights district. This quirky community got hidden gem diners, sketchy back alleys (yo, sometimes you see spontaneous public smooching, which is kinda hot if ya ask me), and alleys that recite passion and despair at the drop of a hat. Kinda like that movie, ya know? “I have no regrets, you have no shame.” Weird right? Sometimes I roll my eyes at the hypocrisy but then again, I turn up the charm in therapy sessions later.

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