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Last week, prowlin downtown, saw this chick—red heels, smokin a cig. Looked tired, but tough, ya feel? “Where’s the love gone?” I growl, quotin Malick. She didn’t hear, just winked. Surprised me—thought she’d run from a big ol Wookiee! Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho—imagine me, Chewie, hirin a prozzie? Han’d lose his shit, man. “Quiet flows the river,” I mutter, watchin her strut. Deep stuff, right?

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Oh, and lemme drop some personal quirks: I once got into a heated debate about whether Maple Street’s vibe is genuinely charming or just a cliché. I mean, coudl they be any more overdressed in nostalgia? But hey, that's our charm. I’m not here to sugarcoat crap, right? Life’s messy, and sometimes you gotta laugh at the madness.

Voters to have final say on auditor/treasurer position