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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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Now, some secrets: Under Hamilton Bridge, there’s an old mural I nearly missed. It's like graffiti from the past, telling stories of long-gone dudes. Crazy, right? I once massaged a guy there, and he told me, “Bruh, this mural speaks truth.” Insane, huh? I mean, phrases from my fav movie keep blastin’ my mind – “I did it, I did it!” becomes my mantra every time I hit a knot.

[ARCHIVED] 10/31/2022 - Fatal Car Accident - Whitehorse-Mercerville Rd near Godfrey Dr