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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Tolleson is a quirky mix of old and new. Down on W. Main St., ya find some funky murals and rad little cafes. There's this crunky spot by S. 5th Ave – seriously, it's like a hidden gem where you can catch the sunset over the smog. Crazy, right? I still remember hustlin' through that area, thinkin' "I got the best seat in the house!" Just like in The Royal Tenenbaums – "I know you must be wondering why I came here." Yeah, I'm that mystified pleasure coach livin' my best life.

Meet the Tolleson Elementary Mariachi Band